Most, if not everyone of you knows that I'm a christian. I don't remember if I have shared any of my testimony here yet so I want to share a piece with you today.
Not many people knows my whole testimony. There has been many things in my past that has taken me years to get over and some things even took till this last summer. I don't want to share my whole testimony now, many things are too personal and I don't feel ready yet to share it but really want to share some. God has done some amazing things in my life and I can honestly say that I love him more than anything else.. It's a deep love that I can't even explain.
First I want to share a couple of bibleverses that has spoken so clear in my life and in my walk with God.
2 Cor 5:17 Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come. The old has gone, the new is here.
Ps 103:10-14 He does not treat us as our sins deserve or repay us according to our iniquities.
For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his love for those who fear him;
as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us.
As a father has compassion on his children, so the LORD has compassion on those who fear him;
for he knows how we are formed, he remembers that we are dust.
Here is the story of how graceful and loving God has been for me. My family are christians so I was brought up in a christian home. Around the time I turned 15 years, I decided that I wanted to leave God and have nothing to do with him. I started to do pretty much everything that is against christianity. I wanted to show God (if there was one) that I "hated" him and was disappointed at him.
I went through the worse years of my life. Pretty soon I got eating disorders, which I had for about 4 years. I started cutting myself, drinking and lots of other things that I want to leave out here for now. I went into a deep depression that God later on delivered me from when I became saved.
In the last year of high school I was living with my boyfriend who was a drug addict and had right before I met him been in jail for a year because of selling drugs. I moved in with him about 2 weeks after meeting him, and about a month after that, he was cheating on me. I still stayed because I was in such a miserble state and I was convinced I didn't deserved better.
I was also sick a lot that year. My depression was very deep at this point and I also had really bad colds so I couldn't leave the bed for 3 weeks at a time and then I was "okay" for a week before it hit me again.
Finally just before christmas that year, I left the guy and moved back home again. I was really broken down at this time after 4 terrible years. Our family has an apartment attached to our house that we rent out to bibleschool students every year. This year a guy from England lived there and I started to hang out with him and his friends. I had never met christians before that I had so much fun with. I started telling people I was saved, even though I wasn't but I knew it was coming. I became saved in the summer (I was 19½) and the whole last year before that, I had started praying to God but I didn't know how to pray so I prayed the same prayer every evening which was: Help me God. over and over again....
During that summer, I went to Israel on a trip with my church. We went to the western wall and I felt God's precence and his love there more than I ever had before. I cried and cried and cried.. During that trip I became saved and decided that from now on, I will follow God for the rest of my life.
I started bibleschool a couple of months after that and that's when I got the first bibleverse (2 cor 5:17) from God and he made that verse come alive in my soul. I understood that God had forgiven me for leaving him and for all the things I had done during those years.
Life has not always been easy after that and God has done some amazing things the 5½ years I've been saved. Especially in the last 1½ years, God has worked with me and healed me alot. I will share some of that in "part 2".
Now I really have to start studying :)