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So, when I was 19, almost 20, I got saved. God did a huge miracle in my life. I never thought I would get saved, it all seemed so false to me and I never understood the people that gave their life to something that "didn't exist".
Something changed when I met Him (- refering on God). I could hear him speak to me at times and I could feel his presence, his love and the forgiveness he gave me for everything I had ever done wrong. I know that it was God who healed me from the depression, the eating disorders and other health problems I had.
I applied to go to bibleschool before I even became saved. I knew I would soon going to take that step and I knew that I needed to take time to focus on getting to know God deeper for it to last. I wanted so badly to live for God for the rest of my life, but knowing myself, I knew it wouldn't be easy.
I first went one year of bibleschool. It was a year of healing, starting to hang out with christians, getting to know God and also relaxing in God - the time without Him was over and I really feel that he gave me that year to just rest in him and enjoy him. Many people said bibleschool was tough.. I never understood them because I thought 1st year was pretty much perfect.
I felt that God wanted me to go a second year on bibleschool which was more focusing on other people through missions and counseling. I went to Armenia and Georgia on my missiontrip. I learned so much there and started to understand more that mission was really on my heart and that it will be a bigger part of my future some how.
I also believe God had a purpose with me learning about counseling.. As I have been through some really rough times in my past - I hope to be able to help other young girls out of similar things.
After that, God told me to be a volunteer in England for the christian school organisation New Generation. I was there almost a year. That was a very hard year. The "safe" bibleschool was over for my part and here I had to put my faith into practice more. I was, with two other people, responsible for the south part of England and Wales. It was a tough area and it took me a long time to understand why God wanted me there. I still wonder about that sometimes but I know it was for a purpose even if I can't see the whole picture of it yet.
We were 11 people living in one house and we all worked together with this. I must say I learned a lot by living with 10 other people from all over the world. I also met my best friend during that year as we shared room the whole time.
I also got to hear about the village church the first time during that year. That is the church I went to visit in Dallas a year ago and a half year ago.
You have to excuse me, I'm a girl so I sometimes write long posts. (Starting to realise that this will be a long one...)
Since I became saved, I have started loving americans so much. I don't know why yet but I deeply believe that God has a purpose with that. I want to live and work there in the future. God also put Israel on my heart when I got saved. I've been there twice now and I have never experienced a love for a country as I have for Israel.
After I lived in Birmingham, England, I went back here to Sweden to work for two years. They were really hard years. I had listening to sermons from the village church since I lived in England and I decided to get in contact with them so I emailed them. I wanted to have someone that I could ask questions about the bible too and this really sweet girl answered me and we emailed for almost a year I think (?)... And now a pretty cool part comes.
One day at work, I was outside on my lunch break and asked God if he wanted me to go to this church. I asked him: If you want me to go, then let the next car that comes be blue... - A blue car then came. Then I asked again: Okay, if you mean it, let the next car be red... And then a red car came.. I can't remember exacly how many times I asked him things like that but I believe it was about 8-9 times and EVERY time, God showed me what I asked for. I then went inside and continued with this; "God if you really really mean it, then let it only be one other person behind these doors - and it was. I understood that God wanted me to go, so I talked to the girl I was emailing with about that I believe I should go. My parents thought it was a really good idea - which they normally never think (then I knew it must have been God :))
I left in the end of October last year, stayed two months and lived with an incredible family. That was really a match made in heaven! I got to spend a lot of time with their two young girls and their mom who was a stay at home mom. I feel strongly that I want to invest in my children and be home with them when they are small - something that I have never really seen in Sweden so I never knew how that could look like. Here I could see it and learn so much of how it could work. I also got to learn a lot from the parents about parenting, how a christian marriage should look like and many more things. The dad in the family is a missions pastor which was also so cool as I also have that on my heart.
The family made me feel so much at home. I never really knew what to answer people when they asked what I was doing there.. I knew why but couldn't explain the whole story to people so I just told them I was kind of on a long retreat or something like that. I was there to spend time with God and get to know him even deeper and also to get healed from past things. God did so much those two months.
I must mention here that since I was maybe 17-18, I have always wanted to go to Texas.. For some reason it has been especially close to my heart since God also put the american people on my heart when I got saved. And even though I've now been there twice, I feel strongly that God has more for me waiting there.
I also believe that God has prepared me for some kind of stronger connection to America in the future - not only because of the love for the people I have but also all the americans he has put in my way. We have had 5 americans living a year each here in our house and also other english speaking people from brittain so I got to practice my english, and also as I lived in an english speaking country for a year..
Especially the last year, God has done a lot of healing in my heart. I never thought it would take this long to get healed from some things that I went through before getting saved. God is so amazing and he has given me a second and a third new chance. I can not explain the love I have for God. Give him a chance, he is wating for you and he loves you so much.